Trip to the Rehab

So, I took a trip to rehab to visit with Margorine the other day. She called me and laid the guilt trip on me like gravy on the mashed potatoes, telling me I owed her one because when I had my jaw wired shut she would come to visit with chewed up candy bars in cream, and chewed up chicken in gravy with a straw so that I could get some food inside of me. She told me that I had to sneak her in nips of wild turkey. I told her that I didn't want to get in trouble, and she told me that I could just tuck them into my rolls and no one would find them. So even though I didn't want to do it, all I could think about was what if I ever had to get food snuck to me again, I would need her.

No one told me that when I went into the rehab they treat you like your a criminal. They ask you a million questions. Then, they say they are patting you down to find things, but I know they were just trying to cop a feel. I finally get through my interrogation and rape, and they take me to her. She was in a padded room handcuffed to the wall on a bed because the staff said that she snuck in cigarettes and vodka in her vagina and she tried lighting the place on fire because she was upset that they would not let her leave.

For those of you who do not know why Margarine is in rehab it is because her sons went to court and got a court order for her to go. She was getting so drunk that she was laying with her sons and wives in their beds and doing dances with wolves in her burlesque outfit from 50 years ago that no longer fits, it looks like she is wearing a giant thong. She was also found many times sitting in her house naked with the windows wide open chatting on the world wide web. They call it the chatroullete.com. I don't know what that means, but I guess it's bad. Also, we found out she was having sexual intercourse at the post with men on quarter drink night. She was getting obliterated after doing five men a night for a quarter drink. I personally think she has the sids or a vagina disorder.

Anyways, they uncuffed her and led us to a cafeteria where Alice and I had our visit with her. She poured her nips into a cup and was drinking away, telling us the story of how she filled a balloon up with vodka and a carton of ciggerettes and stuffed it into her vagina. Alice asked for a sip. Alice not knowing Margorine was drinking the wild turkey almost died when she took a big gulp of it. She started screaming, and calling out to Jesus Christ when the staff came over and found out and kicked us out. We are no longer able to visit Margarine. So she is now trying to find a way to escape. I don't know how she will do that now because she can barely move. I told her I would send her a cake with a nip and a file.

Not really sure how these things will work out for her, but I will keep you all updated.